Isca Hash 1131 – 8.11.17 – Newton PopplefordHare: Lilo
On Down: Cannon Inn, High Street, Newton Poppleford, EX10 0PW
Visitor – Cousteau
A great varied route by Lilo even though she did state that it was ‘All down hill from now” after the SS…Screech was not impressed and Menage went out of his way to move logs from her path and pretend that the incline was actually an optical illusion! After avoiding a massive badger hole in the path and the intoxicating smell of fermenting apples in the air in the nearby Orchard around the sweetie stop we were told Lethal Weapon had been rolling around and consuming murky pools of apples & cider.. and from then on appeared very happy with herself for the rest of the hash! Renaming in order Max for her to Dirty Bitch perhaps?
There were so many leaves underfoot it felt like running on pillows and the route along the dark ominous river creeped out quite a few of us. I had fun leading Oddbitz astray in dark alleyways on the OH section of the route. A cunning plan to miss the down down which was foiled as they all waited for us slowpokes! There was no way I was drinking out of my new trainers, thank you very much RAs Imelda & Coffin! So sadly for Porridge Oats & Sleeveless, they received most of the beer thrown over my shoulder at them. However I did manage to dribble some down me and then later leave a lovely damp patch of tesco’s best ale on dampy’s car seat! Sorry mate
Isca Hash 1130 – 1.11.17 – Budleigh Salterton Riding Stables. HALLOWEEN THEMED
Hares: Mad Max (Birthday Boy) and Flour Power
A frightful sight greeted us as we approached the entrance to the car park – a spectre with a hideous face and a purple wand. Through the fog we glimpsed a werewolf, devil and witches haunting the grounds. I feared for my life till Tow Tow Sucker exclaimed “Why does Mad Max have a sheep with him?” – poor Lethal Weapon!
Just before starting Mad Max had the urge to yet again ask if anyone needed to pre-order food! Sadly some hashers did not receive the notice about fancy dress in time so we were a motley crew of “normal” and the unearthly….
Owls were hooting as we ran through icy cold patches of fog that sent chills down our spines and then warm patches just to lure us into a false sense of security. Several times screams were heard from afar as Flour Power aka The Phantom of the Opera pounced on unsuspecting victims on the Longs and Max appeared from the shadows to misled and hinder the path of the shorts.
There were plenty of S/L splits, at least one HAHA and check backs. Spocky decided to run all of the routes just for fun and Whoopsie managed to arrive so late after a tour of the local area via car that she earned herself a Down Down for not running any of the routes!
The Sweetie Stop produced much excitement as MadMax handed out a big box of Quality Street…yay! On Home was eventful – too many check backs so that by the end we began to despair and then just cheat: ‘Let’s just stick to the main track, it should led to the stables eventually’ – Woody and Melon Picker exclaimed. After several hills we did find our way but not until Dottie lost both of her shoes to a bog and had to be rescued. Luckily Spocky managed to ease her shoes out of the ooze which earned her a Down Down too.
Isca Hash 1129 – Oddbitz Birthday Hash, Wheathill Plantation
OD: Dog & Donkey, Knowle
Hares: Odd-Bitz Wobbly-Bitz
Big group with at least 30 hashers. Well laid trail with plenty of marks that kept the pack pretty tight and one re-group to keep us all in order.
Oddbitz warned us to stick to the trail marks on the right only and not get confused by any odd marks but just kick them out the first time we run past them as we’d be going round in circles!
Visitors – Deborah & Ross came with Bareback
– Virgin & paid member before the hash – Susan Toyne & Lincoln the dog
– Porridge Oats – Can’t remember why, just for being there?? but he had already put on his civvies and the circle felt very tempted to get his ‘pulling trousers’ all muddy…
Isca Hash 1128 – 18.10.17 – Route 5 American Diner, Haldon Hill. OD Seven Stars
Great trail by Woody. Very well marked with sawdust and flour. Very Kirtonish trail at times with cushions of moss and grass underfoot, barbed wire and gates, branches which caught our ankles, eyes and elicited lots of ‘boys screaming like girls’, and ‘girls screaming like boys’. Some of us were expecting perverts to appear at every corner from the “boys own Lube area” till someone pointed out at the Sweet Stop that the hashers are the perverts lurking around in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Not sure if that really reassured me or not!
Quotes of the night:
“It’s like running on carpet” – exclaimed Dottie along one of the shorts.
“Very good mix of terrain with ups & downs of the grass banks and running through the woods” – Flour Power on the longs.
Visitors – Dobbie & Ding Dong
Hare – Woody
Sam Boughton named Towtow Sucker! Chris Bennett was cunningly disguised wearing glasses so he was named Clark Kent…oh and also shamed for screaming whilst attacked by a spiky tree – very super hero!
(Come on Dottie, the trail goes that way over the green carpet!- pointed out Toto)
(Chris just about to take flight…or fall over??)
The Thatched House, Exwick Road, Exwick, EX4 2BQ
Hares: Mildly Moist Trish Pinhorn and Chardonnay Will Murley
Hash 1126 – 4.10.17
The Warren Car Park, Woodbury (SY 041 881)
“Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City…“
An evening full of beautiful scenery with a view of the moonlight on the sea and MadMax spotting the light from Portland Bill lighthouse. I particularly liked seeing the line of torch bearing longs zig zagging across a hill above us shorties. It was cold but dry and at times we lost the trail marks due to rain the night before. Flour Power amongst others took great delight in bouncing along the boggy grass tussocks whilst Tight made various pleadings for help and earned herself a down down for her yelps! Whoopsie and Coffin were given two down downs for their birthdays and for being Hares…so thank you to them for an eventful hash in the bog of eternal stench!!
Words for run 1125
Introducing the newly named Dottie – Philippa Boughton who explained to Tight Elly Maynard during the hash that you need to follow the dots. In fact we were very lucky there were dots of saw dust and flour as Spocky – Alan Haylock greeted everyone with “Hi, do you have any flour?” even Flour Power Alasdair Cunningham-Smith whose name suggests that he has an endless supply had decided not to run to the hash with spare flour “just in case”. Boots was bound to have flour in the landrover as Spocky rushed over. Bell Toll – Richard Punchard didn’t even have some, he never ceases to amaze me with his gadgets and hash accessories he has collected over the years. Wide stood in for Damp Patch – Tom Blackmore as GM and christened his new purple ISCA running top!
“Hash was great, very technical and muddy that made Lethal Weapon aka Molly the dog very happy” – announced David Madmax
The Bitz family were there en mass with Itsy bitz, Wobbly bitz – Sandra Paskins, Oddbitz -David Ritchie, Son of the Bitz sporting full waterproofs and X-Bitz – Rosina Haylock carrying an umbrella! Whoopsie – Lee White managed to avoid any whoopsie moment despite her trainers flapping. Imelda – Steve Toomey was on RA duty. Porridge Oats – James Bevan received a down down on behalf of Sleeveless who didn’t turn up as it was raining. Wide Receiver – Darren Maynard received a down down for being one of many who missed the carpark turning and had to do a quick reverse.
On On Tight
Hash 1123 – 20.9.17. Seven Stars, Kennford, EX6 7TR
Hare: Menage a Trois
Badge: 100 Wobbly bitz
Special award certificate to Wide from Headway
Special mention to Boots & Puss for arrival of Albert (hope that’s right??!) who very kindly bought everyone a round. Virgin – Chris. Please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything!!
Drizzle, green grass slick
Odd Bitz hood like baby bonnet
Shortcuts galore, laughter
Hash 1122 – 13.9.17. Church House Inn, Stokeinteignhead
Dampy welcomed back Pip and Sam for their 2nd Hash. Welcomed back Mindy after a long break.
Hares: Mavis and Half Nelson, laid it Tuesday but it has rained.
Down Down for Porridge Oats and Sleeveless for arriving late, doing a mini trail and forgetting torches. Also, Oddbitz for dropping his trousers after he sent Wobbly Bitz up the hill checking. Much to Tight and Screech’s shock.
Shine a Light
Saw Mavis & Half Nelson out on Hash 1122
With a smile on your faces and a tear right in your eyes.
Oh, couldn’t wait to get us started on your steep hilly trail.
Gluten free flour sprinkled down the street,
Making hash marks at every fork that we meet.
Oh, you had a good go at pushing us higher on your steep hilly trail.
May a good torch shine a light on us,
Make every turn we take the right one.
May a good torch shine a light on us,
Bright like the evening sun.
Before Wide fell over & all our shoes got wet,
He’d filmed all of us wading thru a cold muddy pool.
Just seemed too many splashes on you, we couldn’t brush them off.
FRBs pounding all their feet in time,
With smiles on their faces and a gleam right in their eyes.
Whoa, thought I heard one shout for you,
Come On On, past fishhook, sweet stop, now, come On Home now.
May the good landlord shine a light on us,
Make our food & drink super quick.
May the good landlord shine a light on us,
Warm by the fireside.
May the good RAs shine a light on us,
Make each hare drink a Down Down.
May the good RAs shine a light on us,
Outside in the moonlight.
Hash 1121 / AGPU – 6.9.17 Royal Oak, Exminster. Hares: Buzby & Screech
As I didn’t partake in any of the trails I don’t have a clue what happened except that me and Tight shared a pleasant chat over drinks in the pub waiting for everyone else to get back!
Pack of 35
Visitors from Otter Valley: Gripper, Tuft, Nipper
* Virgins x2 – Pip & Sam
* Hare – Buzby
* 400 Badge for Puss in Bootless
* Yet again Porridge Oats – this week for stealing Spocky’s cap which gave him Spocky’s running..uh..skills.
I now know what an AGPU is all about and been introduced to Wide’s obsession for Hash pants!
Picture if you will – our next hash circle….
Words from Menages Bday hash!! (Run number 982) Bishopsteignton
A grand total of 27 happy hashers assembled in the carpark in Bishopsteignton, with delighted cheers all around as the Rukka family turned up for the first time in a while! Widey welcomed Lilo Lil and the Rukkas back to Isca, and the instructions were given for the trail (Run really quick. There is food). And so On On into Happy Valley, a steep climb through the bluebells and occasional squawks from Captain Peacock… at the front. Shortly after more squawks were emitted from Xbitz as she spotted a strapping young lad resembling a teenager she once knew come bounding down the hill towards her- Xbtiz and Rukka reunited! They spent so much time reminiscing that they ignored the fishhooks on the long short split! Widey and Peacock were spotted practising their leapfrogging in the lanes, and many a hardy hasher went Long, including Whoopsie Teararse and Mateus Rosie, who managed to confuse a dot for a check and were feared to be lost to the woods forever.
It was at the sweetie stop that we noticed, but seeing as we were at the end of a long section of hills nobody seemed keen to go back and look for them wink emoticon In the end Spocky volunteered and set off over the hills one side of the hedge, only for the girls to come trotting merrily along on the other a few minutes later! Having asked if theyd seen him, Whoopsie said “Who? Oh, sweets!”
Xbitx’s enthusiasm to find her errant husband lasted all of 2 seconds (“On On Spo-ah never mind”) and the shorts headed off on their trail, with the guilty girls and the hares lingering on. Menage laid his ear to the road and declared “1500 yards!”, looking up to find Spocky running haphazardly down the hill 🙂
The longs bounced off across the fields and the shorts walked rather more sedately down through the village back to the carpark and Chez Menage, where it was noticed another hasher was missing! Larks vomit had Slipperys kit in his car, and volunteered to go look for him. Spocky and Titbitz were adamant they’d seen him over their shoulders until the last 500m home, so where had he gone?
Turns out he had seen some white road markings (the ‘dig here’ kind) and followed those instead.
A glorious bbq and spread was laid on by Tully (Mrs Menage) with RedRock beer being the drink of choice, and TWO fabulous cakes being brought out and sung to. Down Downs went to: Hare Menage, Widey for not remembering where Menage lives and trying to take a big van down a narrow lane. Melon Picker for missing a part of the trail and bullshitting (!), slippery for following road markings and Quick Rukka for his attempt at a beard!!
On On!! Lilo xx
15/04/2015 Pynes Hill, Exeter OD The Blue Ball, Sandygate Hares: Imelda and Wide Reciever
… In the beginning was the Word and the Word was On-On!
We gathered at the dimming of the day in the midst of Pynes Hill business park. The weather was sublime. Barely a cloud in sight. The sun slowly sinking towards the horizon in a glorious sunset as we ran, walked and stumbled into the wide open skies of Ludwell Valley park.
Plenty of long short splits and fishooks kept us on our toes as we circumnavigated the valley and it’s many hills. The FRB’s often having to run the same hill two or three time due to the cunning use of fishhooks. Screech was spotted checking out the trail on a distant hilltop after we rejoined the shorts from the first long/short split.
On one of the Long splits we had to leap down into a stream. Shortly afterward I noticed Whoopsie’s backside was coverd in mud. Vehemently denying that she had fallen over, Whoopsie claimed that she “just slid down in the stream on her bottom so that she wouldn’t fall over” stinging her hands in the process.
The sweetie stop was at the bottom of the biggest, steepest incline of Mount Ludwell. Fuelled with Jelly Bunnies and choclate, Minx and Paddy legged it halfay up the hill and then rolly-polyed down, much to the delight of Herbie the dog who intercepted them like a missile, pouncing on their heads!
Spocky challenged me to a race up the hill which I gladly accepted, almost busting a gut to get to the top ahead of him, only to find a nice fishhook for 10 at the top, so back down we went.
This was the first Isca trail of the year for me without a torch, and we finshed in 59 minutes with plenty of natural light to see by.
Down downs went to: The Hares: Imelda and Wide Reciever, for an excellent, very sweaty hash Minx: Almost falling over when running funny and fish hook avoidance TitBitz: fish hook avoidance and no knickers Big Issue: Bringing out her supply of polos just before the sweetie stop Boots in puss: Allowing Herbie to molest Minx and Paddy.
The Blue Ball Inn took our custom for the evening. Purveyors of some mightily fine cheesy chips and also one of the longest waits I’ve ever had to get served a beer on a hash. I almost finished writing these Words while I was waiting. Buzby’s rack of ribs were bigger than his head but far from putting him off he bravely finished the lot. Man Vs Food. Man won. Screech asked Buzby: “Can I have one of your ribs Buz?”. Isn’t that what God supposedly said to Adam in the Garden of Eden? Slippery appeared in the pub having not been on trail. I heard him shouting out at one point “Who’s sniffing at my crotch”.
Having changed out of my sweaty running gear into nice clean clothes I then left the pub, cycled home and was drenched in sweat again by the time I got there. They don’t call me Damp Patch for nothing.
8th April 2015: the Nobody Inn, Doddiscombsleigh.
Far over the Hills of Haldon cold… To valleys deep and taverns old We must away ere end of day, To hash the long-untrodden wold.
Wednesday 8th April; a day of glorious sunshine and azure blue skies, Spring was well and truly in the air (or for Daily Express readers “Easter Heatwave Hell sweeps Britain!”).
Thirty three gathered at the Nobody Inn as the sun was sinking in the sky for ‘don’t call me Crazy’ Minx and Paddy Pants Down’s Virgin Isca trail. Minx is about to start a job at the Met Office so we were encouraged to dress in suitable weather/Met Office themed attire. There were many fine attempts. To name a few: Wide Receiver and Tight Lips as a double rainbow, Coatcheck with Michael Fish on her back, the Bitz’s in weather themed headgear, Woodpecker came half dressed for a rainstorm and half for a heatwave and Soapy looked very warm in her Olaf (from Frozen) outfit. In the circle we were introduced to the Virgins (Ben and Sian) and some visitors (‘This Big’ and ‘Kilinchi’).
Minx, dressed as Storm from X-men, with a very convincing blond wig, and Paddy, dressed up ready for a BBQ Summer, sent us on our way. This was a new hashing area for me and it was a proper Devon rural idyll. Meadows full of lush, green grass and wildflowers, babbling brooks, light and airy woodland full of primroses, spring lambs in the fields. If it hadn’t been for the many, many, energy sapping hills and numerous fishhooks I could have died and gone to heaven. As it happened, because of the hills and fishhooks I felt like I was going to die on several occasions! Imelda attempted to break his neck by tumbling head first off a stile and Monty the dog attempted to snap my knee by wiping me out completely in the woods (who would have thought a dog Monty’s size could be so solid!).
At the sweetie stop we had some lovely Minx-made cakes bedecked with the Met Office logo. By this point it was getting quite dark and very cold. Cloudless skies were leading to rapid radiative cooling of the Teign valley and me.
Back at the pub, down downs were awarded to: ●the hares for an excellent trail, ●the Virgins, ●Bareback for saying “I gave birth to a lamb once”. ●Boots for stealing and carrying Spockys windmill hat around the trail ●Me for carrying a pineapple around the trail and getting very cold wearing Hawaiian shirt and shorts(I was dressed as the pineapple express).
The Nobody Inn were excellent hosts. Very good food and beer and a very good time was had by all, especially Bigfoot who was couldn’t have been more delighted by all the kisses he was getting from the harriets as they were leaving!